"The making of a picture"
I had the idea for doing this picture for some time and I knew the hardest part would be getting Dad to stick his two fingers up, below is a how I went about it.
Bill's sitting room.
Me: “Dad, can I take your picture? I want to do a painting to submit for the BP portrait competition.”
Me: “Can you stick your fingers up at the camera?”
Me: “Go on, Dad, it'll be funny!”
Me: “Please Dad, I could win an Oscar for this!”
Bill: “A what? I thought you were doing a bleedin' painting?”
Me: “...please Dad!”
Me: “Look, Dad, I'm trying to capture a moment in time here. You'll be immortalised and decades from now learned people will ponder the nuance and intricacies of your emotional state in this frozen moment. (I'd read this somewhere the day before. Sounds good, doesn't it?)
Plus I could win twenty-five thousand quid!”
Bill: “How much?! Bleedin' ‘ell!”
Me: “Please Dad, just do it.”
Bill: “No. It's rude.”
Me: “I'll take you to the pub.”
Bill: “How much of the prize money do I get?”
Me: “We can talk about it at the pub Dad, now stick your fingers up!”
This man is magic
Well, that's what everyone calls him, anyway. I asked why, but nobody seems to know.
Magic spends half his time recovering from a hangover, and the other half trying to get one. When doing the latter he will often, with affecting sincerity, share the wisdom he has acquired over the years. "Most people die in bed, which is why I spend so much time at the pub. The less time I spend in bed the safer I am!"